Posted by: S. L. Doss | July 21, 2013

Excuses, Excuses

What have I been doing the last year and a half since my last post? Have I accomplished any goals? Have I overcome some of my weak areas? Have I found that place of peace beside the still waters, where I no longer need to reflect on the chaos of my life?

The answers are: Too much. Not really (but maybe a little). Mostly not, but still trying. I tried, but still failed.

Now, I could sit here and say the reason is because we were going through a major software change at work, and I was exhausted, too exhausted to do much more than just live day-to-day. After all, it was an intense 6 months of analyzing, planning, reviewing….you get the picture.

Or, I could say that we had so much going on at church, with the Christmas Program, Easter, teachers sick, the pastor sick, others sick, that all I could do is just maintain the status quo.

What about the fact that during that time we were also trying to really get Designs By Doss off the ground? Searching for inexpensive means of advertising, revising the website to make it more professional and clean, and practicing html code techniques to keep fresh are all very worthy, yet time-consuming endeavors.

These are all good excuses for how busy life can be. But that’s the problem. They’re excuses.

If I really wanted to accomplish goals, like finally finishing my first novel, I would’ve made time. I could have written during my lunch periods, or used a voice-to-text recorder on my longish commute to work. I could have squeezed a few minutes here and there to finish a project or two, or *gasp!* asked my husband for a hand. He’d have been happy to support me in any way I needed.

Just because I’m busy doesn’t give me an excuse to stay in the same rut I’ve always been, allowing my weaknesses to reign supreme. I could have spent precious energy on developing my strong areas, instead of letting my flesh wallow in bad attitudes, whininess, etc.

I also could have found a place of rest during a very stressful time, that place of peace in the midst of all the chaos, if I would have spent more time with God. Who says I couldn’t have prayed while driving each day? Or read my Bible to wind down of an evening instead of parking in front of the t.v.?

Instead, I allowed myself to come up with excuses why I couldn’t…when the truth of the matter was, I didn’t. I was just lazy. And there’s no excuse for lazy.

But the excuses stop here. I want that peace that passes understanding. I want to be a better wife and mother, employee, friend. I want to finish my novel, and see Designs By Doss grow.

So, instead of beating myself up, I’m falling to my knees and seeking the face of God. Because in Him, my weakness becomes strength. Because I know I can’t change myself, but He can change me, mold me into His image, the person He desires me to be. In Him is peace, wonderful peace. He can rest my overworked mind, can relax my tense body, give me great sleep. He can calm the storms around me, and help me sail the sea of crazy to safety on the other shore.

If I seek Him, and please Him, I will be a better person. A better wife. A better mother. A better friend. I’ve learned over the last year and a half that I won’t stand for excuses when I’m on my knees in prayer.

“…but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.” – Psalm 34:10b

Advertisements

Categories

%d bloggers like this: